


Sometimes

by Jappa13



Series: Sometimes [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Depression, Implied/Referenced Suicide, implied eating disorder, trigger warning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-23
Updated: 2017-06-23
Packaged: 2018-11-17 22:47:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11278353
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jappa13/pseuds/Jappa13
Summary: Sometimes, all you need to do is let go. And sometimes, all you need is something to tell you hold on.Originally posted on FFnet: 14/04/12, Originally called: I'll Save You. Edited (completely rewritten): 23/06/17





	Sometimes

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on FFnet: 14/04/12, Originally called: I'll save you  
> Edited (completely rewritten): 23/06/17
> 
> Trigger warnings: severe depression, suicide, descriptions of a depressed state of mind, hints of an eating disorder  
> Disclaimer: It is not my intention to Romanticise depression or suicide in any way, shape or form. Nor am I trying to say that a person who is suffering from a mental illness needs someone to save them. Sometimes, all a person needs is someone reaching out and this is me writing an example of that. I rewrote this fic (and the alternate ending) to take away the romantic notion of it, as it is not something I want to indirectly promote.

Sometimes life isn't fine. Sometimes, no matter how bad things got, how miserable you felt every single second of every day, part of you could hold on. Part of you will grasp onto life with no thought of ever letting go.

But sometimes, when life goes past that stage. Goes to the point where you can't handle it any more. Goes to the point that you spend every waking moment wishing you'd never woken up. Sometimes, that small part of you which was gripping onto life decides maybe it's time to let go.

Maybe it's time to leave this miserable place.

Because what has this world ever done for you?

What has life ever given you?

Because all it's given you is death, and pain, and suffering, and misery.

So much misery.

Harry hated it. He hated what this life has dragged him through.

He's passed the stage of hope. Passed the stage of holding on.

Harry can't handle it any more.

He needs to leave. He needs to let go

That is why you can find him, standing at the highest point of the tallest tower, feeling the breeze wash over him, telling him to _just let go_. Below him, fellow students walked around, unaware of the _anguish_ their classmate struggled with. All they know is the sun on their bright faces and the hope this school fills them with. Hope that has long since abandoned Harry.

He sat on the edge, feet dangling against the side of the Astronomy Tower.

Harry imagines it will be like flying. The wind caressing him like a silent lover, helping him as he leaves this world.

A soft smile graces his tired face and Harry shuts his dull, green eyes.

He leans forwards, letting gravity pull his body down to- “Harry?”

Harry's eyes snapped opened and he whipped his head around towards the voice. He was stunned to see the thin frame of Malfoy. He wasn't as well put together as usual; clothes rumbled, hair hanging down around his face.

“Wha- what are you doing?” he asked.

“Nothing!” Harry snapped defensively. He just wanted to be left along.

Draco took a step forwards. “Don't,” he whispered, “Don't do it.”

“I wasn't going to do anything.”

Draco didn't respond. But he didn't leave either.

Harry shuffled around, back to the edge of the pillar, he watched Draco from the corner of his eye. “What are you doing up here?” he asked back.

Draco seemed to fold in on himself. Thin arms wrapping around his frame. “Nothing.” he muttered back. Harry snorted.

“Sure.”

Draco stepped forwards a couple of silent steps closer to Harry before sitting down. He was about a meter away, but to Harry it felt too close.

“I'm sorry.” the words were barely hear-able. So quiet Harry almost mistook it as the wind rattling through the tower.

“I-” he didn't know what to say. Maybe he should apologise in return? But really, what would be the point?

But isn't that the point? That there really isn't a point to be fighting any more? It's not like Harry was going to be around any longer.

Turning his head away, so not to see Draco's shivering form, he whispered a small reply, “So am I.”

Shuffling came from behind him, and he jumped when Draco appeared next to him, hanging his legs over the edge.

“I know.” he muttered to Harry then again, fell silent.

It was almost comforting.

Except that Harry was well past the point of comfort.

The silence dragged on, and it was soon becoming apparent that Draco wasn't leaving his side.

He opened and closed his mouth a couple of times, trying to find the best way to ask Draco to leave him alone.

“Can-” he cut himself off, before clenching his fist and trying again. “Can I please be left alone?”

Draco turned to face him. He shook his head, blonde hair swishing side to side. “I don't want to.”

Sudden and uncontrollable anger welled up inside of Harry. “Leave me alone!” he snapped.

Draco shook his head again. “No, Harry,” he said, more firmly now. “I'm not leaving.”

Why wouldn't he just leave Harry alone?!

Just as Harry was about to yell, Draco turned around and looked him straight in the eye.

“I'm not leaving you alone, Harry.”

Harry deflated, almost like a balloon. The words sank into his bones and echoed through his mind. He doesn't know why, or maybe he just doesn't want to know why, but suddenly, Harry didn't want to let go any more.

“Oh,” he whispered, voice cracking.

Maybe, maybe it's because someone doesn't want him to leave? Or maybe it's because someone told him he isn't alone?

Maybe he's just thinking to much about the words that have no meaning at all?

But those words were something that Harry needed to hear. That small part of Harry, which had let go, suddenly grasped to life again, with such strength that Harry knew it wasn't going to let go any time soon.

Because sometimes, when life seems meaningless and you no longer want to hold on, all you need is something that tells you to hold on again. It might be something small, something big, maybe a simple whisper of words or the beauty of a flower in bloom, that tells you its worth holding on.

**Author's Note:**

> Alternative Ending will be posted next week.
> 
> Come say Hi! pin-apple-ey.tumblr.com


End file.
